For your wedding, it’s not just about the dress, the cake or the music. These might seem like the most important things to plan, but the real centerpiece of your day should be your wedding ceremony. After all exchanging your vows and the rings, and sealing the covenant of marriage is the purpose of this beautiful day.
If you regularly attended church throughout your life, and you belong to a particular house of worship, there might be no question that you’ll marry at the place that feels “home” to you.
If you’re far from the house of worship of your youth and not connected to any particular new church, you might starting searching now for a new spiritual “home.” Considering that some churches will only marry members or parishioners—no exceptions—it might be a wise idea for you to start attending services where you are now. As an added bonus, many couples report that this task of searching for a new congregation actually brought a much-valued return to their beliefs, and an even greater bond with their partner.
If marrying in a house of worship is more important to your significant other than to you, and he or she is of a different faith than yours, then by all means consider offering to marry in his or her choice of church or synagogue as a special compromise, and something that will be very important to your partner (and perhaps your partner’s family).
If it’s form over function that does it for you, you might look for architecturally gorgeous houses of worship where you can hold your wedding. For some couples who consider themselves to be more spiritual than religious, but still want to honor family beliefs and marry in a church, this could be the answer. Tour houses of worship with an eye toward how it looks and feels to you, as well as how the officiant acts with you, and this could be the right setting for your wedding.
Marry in a nonreligious setting. Whether it’s the outdoors, your home, or a separately decorated area of your reception locale, all you need to do is set up an altar, line up chairs, form your aisle, decorate as you please, and create your own ceremony site. Countless couples have done this on the beach, in particular, or poolside or under a giant tree in their yard (this is extra sentimental if one or both partners used to climb that tree as a child). Sometimes creating your own ceremony site (and being free to make your own ceremony rules!) is just what it takes to make a wedding extra special.